聆聽者/Listener

Many people neglect this most important communication skill.

許多人忽視了這一最為重要的溝通技巧。

Do you know that we spend an average of our waking day communicating?

你是否積壓物資我們醒著時有一半的時間是用來溝通的?

Of this communication time, 9% is spent writing, 16% reading, 30% talking and 45% listening.

在這段時間里，9%是通過寫，16%是讀，30%是說而45%是用來聽。

Immediately after hearing something, most of us can recall only 50% of what we hear. Within two to eight weeks, we can recall only 25% or less of the original message. Our mental attitudes reduce our ability to retain what we hear.

一聽完某件事，大多數人只能記住其中之一的50%，兩至八個星期內，我們只能記得原信息的25%，甚至更少。我們的精神狀態削弱了我們的記憶能力。

Some suggestions to being a good listener are mentioned below.

以下是關于怎樣做個好聽眾的建議：

First of all, stop talking----you can’t listen while you are talking.

首先，停止講話——你說話時是無法聽。

Ask questions----when you don’t understand, when you need further clarification, when you want them to like you and when you want to show that you are listening.

問問題——如你不甚理解，你需要進一步澄清，當你希望他們喜歡你并且想證明你正在聽時。

Don’t interrupt----give them time to say what they have to say.

不要打岔——給他們時間說他們必須說的一切。

Concentrate on what they are saying---- actively focus your attention on their words, their ideas and their feelings as they relate to the subject.

集中精神聽他們說——當他們說到主題時，主動把你的注意力放在你們的言語思想和感情上。

Look at the prospect---- by looking, it gives them confidence that you are, in fact, listening. It helps you to concentrate too.

望著前方——通過望對方，對方就更有信心，說明你正聽他說話，這也有助于你集中精神。

Leave your emotions behind----try to forget your own worries and problems. Leave them outside of the meeting room. They will prevent you from listening well.

擱置情感——暫時忘記你自己的煩惱和問題，把它們都通通留在會議室門外，因為它們會讓你沒法好好聽。

Understand the main points ----concentrate on the main ideas and not the illustrative material.

理解要點——集中精力聽主要意思而非說明性材料。

Don’t argue mentally----when you are trying to understand other people, it is a handicap to argue with them mentally as they are speaking. This only sets up a barrier between yourself and the speaker.

切忌激烈地爭論——如果你想理解別人哀兵必勝說的話，那么在別人說話的時候與別人激烈地爭論就會成為一大障礙。這只會在你與說話人之間設下一道鴻溝。

Use the difference in rate----you can listen faster than you can talk. So use this rate difference to your advantage by staying on the right track, anticipating what they are going to say, thinking back over what they have just said and evaluating the development of their argument. You speak at about 100 to 150 words per minute, but you think at 250 to 500.

不同的速率——聽總快過說。因此你應該通過不同的估計以發揮你的優勢。比如站在合適的位置，設想一下他們要說些什么，回想一下他們剛剛說了什么，并估計下段進展如何，說話時的語速是一分鐘100至250至500字。

Learn to listen and you will achieve a great success in your life.

學會聆聽，日后定會成功。