What IHave Lived For

Threepassions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longingfor love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering ofmankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, ina wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge ofdespair.

Ihave sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy – ecstasy so great that Iwould often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. Ihave sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness – that terrible lonelinessin which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the coldunfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union oflove I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven thatsaints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seemtoo good for human life, this is what – at last – I have found.

Withequal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the heartsof men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried toapprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. Alittle of this, but not much, I have achieved.

Loveand knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. Butalways pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in myheart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old peoplea hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, andpain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil,but I cannot, and I too suffer.

Thishas been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it againif the chance were offered me.

參考譯文：

我為何而活

對(duì)愛(ài)情的渴望，對(duì)知識(shí)的追求，對(duì)人類(lèi)痛苦之令人痛苦不堪的同情，這三種激情雖然質(zhì)樸，卻無(wú)比強(qiáng)烈，一直主宰著我的人生。這些激情宛若巨風(fēng)，吹著我四處漂泊，狂狷不羈，越過(guò)芒芒苦海，直抵絕望的邊緣。

我尋求愛(ài)情，首先是因?yàn)閻?ài)情令人心醉神迷 —— 那種心醉神迷的感覺(jué)是如此強(qiáng)烈，我時(shí)常會(huì)為了幾個(gè)小時(shí)的愉悅而寧愿舍棄人生所有其他東西。我尋求愛(ài)情，其次是因?yàn)閻?ài)情可以消除孤獨(dú)—— 身處那種可怕的孤獨(dú)之中，探過(guò)塵世的邊緣俯瞰那冰冷死寂的深淵，不免心驚膽戰(zhàn)。我尋求愛(ài)情，最后是因?yàn)閻?ài)在兩情相悅時(shí)，我看到了圣賢、詩(shī)人們想象中預(yù)見(jiàn)的天堂美景—— 那是一種神奇的縮影。這正是我所尋求的，盡管它對(duì)于人生而言似乎太過(guò)美好，但我已經(jīng)找到了 —— 終于找到了。

我以同樣的激情追求知識(shí)，渴望了解人類(lèi)的心靈，渴望知道繁星為何閃爍，竭力去理解畢達(dá)哥拉斯哲學(xué)思想的威力，它使數(shù)字得以主宰萬(wàn)物輪回。我已經(jīng)獲得了些許知識(shí)，但是不多。

愛(ài)情和知識(shí)盡其所能把我引上天堂，而同情卻總是把我?guī)Щ貕m世。痛苦的呼喊在我心中回蕩，饑餓的兒童，遭壓迫者蹂躪的人們，被子女視為累贅的無(wú)依無(wú)靠的老人，還有充斥著整個(gè)世界的孤獨(dú)、貧窮和疾苦，都是對(duì)人類(lèi)原本應(yīng)有的生活之嘲諷。我渴望減輕這痛苦，可我無(wú)能為力，這令我也很痛苦。

這就是我的人生。我覺(jué)得值得為其而活，倘若還有機(jī)會(huì)，我樂(lè)于再活一次。