每個人都有憂郁的日子。
Everybody has blue days.
那些日子真是慘透了，你覺得心里亂糟糟的、怨氣叢生、寂寞、整個人徹底的精疲力竭。
These are miserable days when you feel lousy, grumpy, lonely, and utterly exhausted.
那些日子總會讓你感到自己的渺小和微不足道，
Days when you feel small and insignificant,
每件事情似乎都夠不著邊。
when everything seems just out of reach.
你根本無法振作起來。
You can’t rise to the occasion.
根本沒有力氣重新開始。
Just getting started seems impossible.
在憂郁的日子里，你可能變成偏執狂，覺得每個人都想要吃定你。
On blue days you can become paranoid that everyone is out to get you.
其實情況并不總是那么糟。
This is not always such a bad thing.
你感到灰心、焦慮，可能開始神經質地拼命咬指甲，然后不可救藥地陷入一眨眼吃掉三大塊巧克力蛋糕的瘋狂!
You feel frustrated and anxious, which can induce a nail-biting frenzy that can escalate into a triple-chocolate-mud-cake-eating frenzy in a blink of an eye!
在憂郁的日子里，你會覺得自己在悲傷的海里沉沉浮浮。
On blue days you feel like you’re floating in an ocean of sadness.
不論在什么時候，你總有種想哭的沖動，卻不知道為了什么。
You’re about to burst into tears at any moment and you don’t even know why.
最后，你覺得自己猶如行尸走肉，失去生活目標。
Ultimately, you feel like you’re wandering through life without purpose.
你不知道自己還可以撐多久，
You’re not sure how much longer you can hang on,
然后你想大喊一聲：“誰來一槍把我打死吧!”
and you feel like shouting, “Will someone please shout me!”
其實一點小事就讓你一天都郁悶難當。
It doesn’t take much to bring on a blue day.
也許只是一覺醒來，沒有感覺到或者看到自己最棒的一面，
You might just wake up not feeling or looking your best,
發現自己又多了幾條皺紋，又重了幾斤，或是鼻子上冒出了一個大包。
find some new wrinkles, put on a little weight, or get a huge pimple on your nose.
你可能忘記了約會對象的名字，或是有張可笑的照片被登出來。
You could forget your date’s name or have an embarrassing photograph published.
你或許被人拋棄、離了婚，或是被開除，當眾出丑，被刻薄的綽號弄得心亂如麻，
You might get dumped, divorced, or fired, make a fool of yourself in public, be afflicted with a demeaning nickname,
或許只因為你得整天頂著一個其丑無比的發型。
or just have a plain old bad-hair day.
也許工作讓你痛苦得如坐針氈。
Maybe work is a pain in the butt.
你在強大的壓力下頂替他人的位置，
You’re under major pressure to fill someone else’s shoes,
你的老板對你百般挑剔，
your boss is picking on you,
辦公室里的每一個人都讓你發瘋。
and everyone in the office is driving you crazy.
你可能會頭疼欲裂，
You might have a splitting headache,
或重心不穩跌個正著，口臭、牙痛、不停放屁、口干舌燥，
or a slipped dish, bad breath, a toothache, chronic gas, dry lips,
或是指甲長到肉里頭了。
or a nasty ingrown toenail.
不管什么原因，你確定上面有人不喜歡你。
Whatever the reason, you’re convinced that someone up there doesn’t like you.
唉，該怎么辦，到底該怎么辦呢?
Oh what to do, what to dooo?
嗯，你可能跟大部分人一樣，
Well, if you’re like most people,
隨便找個東西躲起來,以為事情會自行解決。
you’ll hide behind a flimsy belief that everything will sort itself out.
結果你得花掉下半輩子的時間回頭看，
Then you’ll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder,
等著一次有一次重蹈覆轍。
waiting for everything to go wrong all over again.
最后你會變成一個易怒的、憤世嫉俗的，或者是 一個可憐兮兮的、哭哭啼啼的受害者。
All the while becoming crusty and cynical or a pathetic, sniveling victim.
最終你絕望地躺在地上，祈求地球將你吞沒，或是沉迷在比利.喬的藍調音樂中不能自拔。
Until you get so depressed that you lie down and beg the earth to swallow you up or, even worse, become addicted to Billy Joel songs.
這的確很蠢，
This is crazy,
因為你只能年輕一次，而且絕對不可能老兩次。
because you’re only young once and you’re never old twice.
（兼職編輯：張博）
