追憶似水年華(3)

I remember being so over enjoyed, when a year later, you gently held my hand to your waist and whispered in my ear that we were going to be a family.

一年后，你輕輕地把我的手放到你的腹前，對著我的耳朵悄悄透露這個讓我欣喜若狂的好消息：我們就快有寶寶啦。

I know both our children love you dearly; they are outside the door now, waiting.

我知道我們的孩子都深深地愛你，他們現在就在門外等候。

Do you remember how I panicked like a mad man when Jonathon was born? I can still picture you laughing and smiling at me now, as I clumsily held him for the very first time in my arms. I watched as your laughter faded into tears, as I stared at him and cried my own tears of joy.

你還記得喬納森出生的時候我那手足無措的慌張樣子嗎?當我笨拙地把他抱在懷里，我還記得你笑話我的樣子，我看著他，我們都情不自禁地迸出了開心的淚花。

Sarah and Tom arrived this morning with little Tessie. Can you remember how we both hugged each other tightly when we saw our tiny granddaughter for the first time? I can’t believe she will be eight next month. I am trying not to cry, my love, as I tell you how beautiful she looks today in her pretty dress and red shiny shoes, she reminds me so much of you that first day we met. She has her hair cut short now, just like yours was all those years ago. When I met her at the door her smile wrapped around me like a warm glove, just like yours used to do, my darling.

今天早晨撒拉和湯姆帶著小緹西也趕到了。你還記得嗎?第一次看到這個可愛的小孫女，我倆高興地緊緊擁抱。真讓人難以相信，她下個月就八歲了。親愛的，我不得不忍住眼淚告訴你，小家伙今天穿著漂亮的裙子，閃亮的紅色小鞋，讓我立刻想起當年相遇時的你，連她的短發也像極了年輕的你。當我在門口看到她的時候，她的笑容暖人心脾，這竟然也和你一模一樣。

I know you are tired, my dear, and I must let you go. But I love you so much and it hurts to do so.

我明白，親愛的，你累了，我應該讓你離開。可是愛人即逝，孤侶何傷!

As we grew old together, I would tease you that you had not changed since we first met. But it is true, my darling. I do not see the wrinkles and grey hair that other people see. When I look at you now, I only see your sweet tender lips and youthful sparkling eyes as we sat and had out first picnic next to that small stream, and chased each other around that big old oak tree. I remember wishing those first few days together would last forever. Do you remember how exciting and wonderful those days were?

這些年我們相濡以沫，白首到老，我總是逗你說你的容顏依然如昔。可這是真的，親愛的，我真的見不到他人眼里的皺紋和白發。現在我望著你，也還是只能看到你嬌嫩溫柔的紅唇和秋水流盼的眼眸，仿佛我們第一次在那條小溪邊野餐，在那棵巨大的老橡樹旁追逐嬉戲。那時候我們剛剛在一起，總是盼望那樣的日子生生世世，你還記得嗎?那些日子是多么激情蕩漾，讓人不忍回首……

I must go now, my darling. Our children are waiting outside. They want to say goodbye to you.

親愛的，我應該走了。孩子們都等在外面，他們要和你道別。

I wipe the tears away from my eyes and bend my frail old legs down to the floor, so that I can kneel beside you. I lean close to you and take hold of your hand and kiss your tender lips for the very last time.

我擦去了眼角的淚，跪在你的身邊，輕輕靠近你，握住你的雙手，最后一次吻你。

Sleep peacefully my dear.

親愛的，安心地睡吧。

I am sad that you had to leave me, but please don’t worry. I am content, knowing I will be with you soon. I am too old and too empty now to live much longer without you.

這分離扯碎了我的心。別擔心，我很快就會來陪伴你。生死茫茫，塵世間沒有你，這滿腔的衷腸憑誰傾訴?這只影的寂寥復有何歡?

I know it won’t be long before we meet again in that small cafe in Hanover Square.

很快，我們就能在漢諾威廣場的那間小咖啡館里再相逢。

Goodbye, my darling wife.