You are asking, Priya: "Is it possible to be married and to be free?"

普利亞，你問：“結(jié)婚后還保持自由,可能嗎?”

If you take marriage non-seriously, then you can be free. If you take it seriously, then freedom is impossible. Take marriage just as a game -- it is a game. Have a little sense of humor, that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life; but it is not something that belongs to existence or has any reality -- it is a fiction.

輕松地看待婚姻，自由是可能的;嚴(yán)肅地看待婚姻，自由絕不可能。把婚姻就看作游戲——它是個(gè)游戲。多一點(diǎn)幽默感，它只是你在人生舞臺(tái)上扮演的一個(gè)角色;并不屬于存在，也沒有真實(shí)性——它是個(gè)虛構(gòu)。

But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality. I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes, because in the fiction things are going so tragically. It is a very good device in the movies that they put the lights off, so everybody can enjoy the movie, laugh, cry, be sad, be happy. If there was light it would be a little difficult -- what will others think? And they know perfectly well that the screen is empty -- there is nobody; it is just a projected picture. But they forget it completely.

但人們?nèi)绱擞薮溃尤话烟摌?gòu)當(dāng)作現(xiàn)實(shí)。我看見，人們讀小說，悲慘的故事讓他們流淚。播放電影時(shí)，把燈關(guān)掉，這樣做很好，因此每個(gè)人能享受這部電影，歡笑、哭泣、傷心、快樂。如果燈開著，這就有點(diǎn)難——如果表露情緒，別人會(huì)怎么想?他們知道得很清楚，屏幕空無一物——沒有人，只是投影的圖像。但他們完全忘了這個(gè)事實(shí)。

And the same has happened with our lives. Many things which are simply to be taken humorously, we take so seriously -- and from that seriousness begins our problem.

我們的生活里，也發(fā)生同樣的事。很多事情，只須幽默看待，我們卻那么嚴(yán)肅——結(jié)果問題紛至沓來。

In the first place, why should you get married? You love someone, live with someone -- it is part of your basic rights. You can live with someone, you can love someone.

首先，你為什么要結(jié)婚呢?你愛某人，與某人一起生活——這都是你的基本權(quán)利。你能與某人一起生活，你能愛某人。

Marriage is not something that happens in heaven, it happens here, through the crafty priests. But if you want to join the game with society and don‘t want to stand alone and aloof, you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game: "Never take it seriously. I will remain as independent as I was before marriage, and you will remain as independent as you were before marriage. Neither I am going to interfere in your life, nor are you going to interfere in my life; we will live as two friends together, sharing our joys, sharing our freedom -- but not becoming a burden on each other. And any moment we feel that the spring has passed, the honeymoon is over, we will be sincere enough not to go on pretending, but to say to each other that we loved much -- and we will remain grateful to each other forever, and the days of love will haunt us in our memories, in our dreams, as golden -- but the spring is over. Our paths have come to a point, where although it is sad, we have to part, because now, living together is not a sign of love. If I love you, I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery to you. If you love me, you will leave me the moment you see that your love is creating an imprisonment for me."

天堂里沒有婚姻，只在塵世，通過牧師的狡詐而存在。但是，如果你不想超然獨(dú)立，而想?yún)⑴c這個(gè)社會(huì)游戲，那么你就要讓你的妻子或丈夫弄清楚，婚姻僅僅是個(gè)游戲：“別把婚姻看得那么嚴(yán)肅。婚姻中，我將保持獨(dú)立性，與婚前一樣，你也是如此。你不妨礙我的生活，我也不妨礙你的生活;我們生活在一起，像兩個(gè)好朋友，分享喜悅，分享自由——但絕不成為對(duì)方的負(fù)擔(dān)。任何時(shí)刻，感覺到春天消失和蜜月結(jié)束，我們將足夠真誠(chéng)，絕不偽裝，而告訴對(duì)方：我們?cè)浅Ｏ鄲邸覀儗?duì)此永遠(yuǎn)保持感激，那些充滿愛的時(shí)光，縈繞在我們的記憶和夢(mèng)里，如黃金般寶貴——但現(xiàn)在春天結(jié)束了。我們已走到那個(gè)點(diǎn)，盡管令人傷心，但我們必須分開，因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在，共同生活不再是愛的象征。如果我真的愛你，當(dāng)看見我的愛讓你痛苦時(shí)，我將離開你;如果你真的愛我，當(dāng)你看見你的愛禁錮我時(shí)，你將離開我。”

Love is the highest value in life: It should not be reduced to stupid rituals. And love and freedom go together -- you cannot choose one and leave the other. A man who knows freedom is full of love, and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom. If you cannot give freedom to the person you love, to whom can you give freedom? Giving freedom is nothing but trusting. Freedom is an expression of love.

愛是生命的最高價(jià)值：它不該蛻化為愚蠢的儀式。愛和自由在一起——不能做選擇。知道自由的人充滿了愛，知道愛的人總會(huì)給予自由。如果你不能給你所愛的人自由，那你又能把自由給誰(shuí)呢?給予自由不是別的，就是信任。自由就是愛的表達(dá)。

So whether you are married or not, remember, all marriages are fake -- just social conveniences. Their purpose is not to imprison you and bind you to each other; their purpose is to help you to grow with each other. But growth needs freedom; and in the past, all the cultures have forgotten that without freedom, love dies.

所以無論你是否結(jié)婚，記住，一切婚姻都是捏造品——僅僅為了社會(huì)的方便。婚姻的意圖，不是讓你們彼此囚禁和束縛，而是讓你們彼此幫助，共同成長(zhǎng)。但成長(zhǎng)需要自由;在過去，所有文化都遺忘了：沒有自由，愛就消失。

You see a bird on the wing in the sun, in the sky, and it looks so beautiful. Attracted by its beauty, you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage. Do you think it is the same bird? Superficially, yes, it is the same bird who was flying in the sky; but deep down it is not the same bird -- because where is its sky, where is its freedom?

你看見一只鳥，在陽(yáng)光燦爛的天空中飛翔，多么美!它的美吸引著你，你能捉住它，把它放進(jìn)金鳥籠里。你認(rèn)為它還是原來那只鳥嗎?表面上，它還是那只在天空中飛翔的鳥，但是，在深處它已經(jīng)不是原來那只鳥——因?yàn)椋瑳]有它的天空，哪來它的自由?

This golden cage may be valuable to you; it is not valuable to the bird. For the bird, to be free in the sky is the only valuable thing in life. And the same is true about human beings.

這個(gè)金鳥籠，對(duì)你而言，也許有價(jià)值;對(duì)鳥而言，毫無價(jià)值。在鳥看來，空中的自由飛翔，才是它生命中唯一的價(jià)值。對(duì)于人類，也是同樣的道理。