I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

I would ask you how old you are but I know you can’t count that high.

They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

You’re better at sex than anyone, now all you need is a partner.

Go ahead, tell them everything you know.It’ll only take 10 seconds.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it.

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

Are your parents siblings?

Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth?

He is dark and handsome. When it’s dark, he’s handsome.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

I bet your mother has a loud bark!

I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!

If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder; it would be genocide!

If your brain were chocolate, it wouldn’t fill an M&M.

She has a nice butter face. Everything looks nice, but her face.

She’s got a body that won’t quit and a brain that won’t start.

He’s so ugly, robbers give him their masks to wear.

The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.

They said you were a big asset. I told them they were off by two letters.

Too bad stupidity isn’t painful.

We do not complain about your shortcomings but about your long stayings.

We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven."

What color is the sky in your world?

When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.

When I look into your eyes, I see the back of your head.

When you die, I’d like to go to your funeral but I’ll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.