1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

只有在美國……叫pizza比叫救護車快。

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

只有在美國……殘疾人專用停車位被設在滑雪道前面。

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

只有在美國……藥店把售藥窗口設在后門，要病人繞一大圈過去買;而用前門的好位子來向正常人出售香煙。

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

只有在美國……才有人點雙份乳酪漢堡、大份炸薯條、外加一瓶無糖可樂。

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

只有在美國……銀行把大門全開，卻把要營業的柜臺封了。

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

只有在美國……人們把上千美元的好車停在路邊，把自家的車庫用來停報廢的破車。

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

只有在美國……才有人用電話答錄機記錄下所有的來電、以防錯過那些我們從一開始就不想回電的人。

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

只有在美國……才有人買十個一包的熱狗、八個一包的小餅。(餅是用來包熱狗的，數量根本對不上號)

9. Only in America......do we use the word ’politics’ to describe the process so well: Poli’ in Latin meaning ’many’ and ’tics’ meaning ’bloodsucking creatures’.

只有在美國……才能把“政治”(politics)這個字的背后含義描述得如此精準：拉丁語里"poli"意思是“許多”，而"tics"指的是“吸血的怪物”。

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

只有在美國……才有專門為開車設計的自動提款機(就是不需要人下車，直接操作，像加油站的麥當勞那樣)，并且有可供盲人操作的布萊葉點字法。