1. My sense of humor (and posts from The Onion) are not universally understood

我的幽默感(和洋蔥新聞網上的帖子)不是所有人都理解

I think I am pretty funny. Sometimes, I wake myself up laughing at things I’ve said in my dream. If I had to say what one quality I would want to have for the entirety of my life, it would be a sense of humor because it is fun and beautiful, even when (or especially when) you are old. Just recently, I posted that I wanted to be a pancake flipper at the new Bisquick World Headquarters in Silicon Valley (as reported by The Onion), and my mother, who is watching my Midlife Exploration with love and trepidation, thought this might just be my true goal. I am thinking that her confusion mostly stemmed from the fact that I don’t cook, but I had to face the reality that I am not always all that universally funny.

我覺得自己很有意思，有時早上醒來我會因自己夢里說的話發(fā)笑。如果非要說有什么品質是我想一生擁有的，那就是幽默感，因為幽默感很有趣、很美好，甚至(尤其)在你老了的時候。最近，我發(fā)了一個帖子說我想在硅谷的Bisquick世界總部當個煎餅小販(洋蔥新聞上發(fā)表了)，我媽媽正帶著對我的愛和擔憂看我的Midlife Exploration(直譯：中年探索)，她還以為我真有這個目標。我想她的困惑主要是因為我不做飯，但我不得不承認我的幽默感并不總能得到普遍認可。

2. Expressing my actual opinion doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it might

表達真實的看法并不像我曾經以為的那樣傷人

Criticism makes me want to crawl into a small hole, cover it with earth, then rocks, then concrete and remain there until the half-life of the criticism has passed and I can repopulate the earth, criticism-free. But, in baby steps, Facebook has allowed me to share my actual opinions without having to look in someone’s eyes and see either praise or ridicule. As a direct result, I can now sing "Let It Go" in the car with more pizzazz, something my 16-year-old daughter truly appreciates.

批評使我想找個小洞鉆進去，上面撒上土，鋪上石頭，最后澆上混凝土，然后一直待著那兒等著批評的風聲過去，我才能重見天日而不會聽見別人的罵聲。但是Facebook一點一點使我能分享真實的想法而不用看別人的眼色、看別人投來的是贊揚還是嘲笑。所以我現在可以在車里更有活力地唱“隨它吧”，這是我16歲的女兒真心喜歡的歌。

3. I want to be George Takei

我想成為喬治?武井

Honestly, that man either never sleeps or has amazing time management skills to allow him to read the entire internet and be amusing. That is my dream job, although I do like to sleep.

說實話，他要么不睡覺、要么有驚人的時間安排技巧使他能讀完所有互聯網上的信息，還很風趣。雖然我真的喜歡睡覺，但那也是我夢想中的工作。

4. Conflict gives me a headache

沖突使我頭疼

Much like I don’t invite people into my living room that I know will argue heatedly, I generally don’t have people in my Facebook circle that do that either. But as I get better at sharing what I actually think (see number 2, above), I am actually generating conflict and it gives me a headache. But it also gives me the opportunity to work through my fear of conflict in a way that feels much safer than face to face, and I am grateful for that opportunity.

就像我不會邀請那些我明知道會跟我激烈爭吵的人進客廳一樣，我的Facebook朋友圈里通常也沒有那樣的人。但隨著我更多地分享我的真實想法(見上面第2條)，我確實挑起了沖突，這讓我頭疼。但也給我一個機會戰(zhàn)勝對沖突的恐懼，這樣至少比面對面安全得多，而且我很感激有這樣的機會。

5. I’m not as worried about everyone else’s life as I used to be

我不再像過去那樣擔憂別人的生活

I used to resent the perfect lives portrayed on Facebook. Conversely, I also used to get annoyed by the people who only complained. But lately, I find myself more able to just take a step back and realize that every post is just the glossy. I am learning to just "like" the happy posts and to try not to fix the complaining ones.

我過去很討厭別人在Facebook上曬的完美生活，相反只會抱怨的人也讓我很生氣。但最近，我發(fā)現自己現在更加懂得退一步，認清了每條帖子都只是外表光鮮。我正在學習僅僅去“喜歡”那些幸福的帖子，努力不去記住抱怨的聲音。

6. People are generally kind, and you can unfriend those that aren’t

通常人們都很善良，你可以刪掉那些不好的人

I am pleasantly surprised by how kind and supportive people are in my Facebook circle. They comfort people going through crises. They very rarely point out the philosophical error of a person’s way of thinking. Because on Facebook you get to choose the people with whom you associate and you can painlessly cull the people you don’t enjoy from your circle, you can choose to see things that bring you joy. If we were better at doing that in real life, every day might feel happier.

我驚喜地發(fā)現我的Facebook朋友圈里的人都很善良、很支持我。他們會安慰那些深陷困境的人，很少指出一個人思考方式上的哲學錯誤，因為在Facebook上你可以選擇和誰聯系，而且毫不費力就可以從朋友圈里刪掉不喜歡的人，所以你可以選擇只看帶給你快樂的東西。如果我們在現實生活中也可以這樣，那每天都會感覺快樂很多。

7. If all else fails, every day can be improved by seeing pictures of someone’s dog

如果生活不順，每天也可以看看別人狗狗的照片來調節(jié)一下

I am always happy to see pictures of people’s dogs in costumes, in some weird position, drooling. In the end, sometimes you just need to laugh and even if my sense of humor isn’t cutting the mustard, someone’s dog is going to be hilarious. Maybe that’s my favorite Facebook lesson of all.

我總是很愿意看別人狗狗的照片，有穿衣服的，有姿勢古怪的，還有流口水的。總之我們有時只是需要點笑料。即使我的笑點比較高，但別人的狗狗還是很滑稽的。可能這就是Facebook讓我學到的一切中我最喜歡的部分。